So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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