My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
