In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
