if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Life is so much better after having sex.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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