yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
