So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
