honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
