Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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