she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize