May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
