im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
