I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
