i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I love you. Go after that dick
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
