As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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