4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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