if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize