what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
