Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
