she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
