Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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