he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
