East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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