I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize