I hate all girls vehemently.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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