Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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