Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
