if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
