talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
