So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
