I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
