I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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