WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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