So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
