Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
