Screwed.edu
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
