If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize