already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
