As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
