How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
