McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
