So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
