is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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