I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
