I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
