they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
