I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
