I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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