Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize
