I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Randomize
