I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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