After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
