Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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