you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
