At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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