Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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