dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you have to choose: penises or morals?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
