if i can run in heels then i can drive
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize