Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
