Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
