He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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