He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
