All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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