It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
