Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I got inside last night via doggy door
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
