he looks like a really good dad on facebook
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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