i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize