just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
