I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
