We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he fucked my hip out of place.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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