So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You were trust falling into bushes
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize