i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize