I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
