Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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