I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
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