It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
