brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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