im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
