Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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