all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
