I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
